The Reflective Life

APPLICATION WRITTEN BY

Staff Writer

We’ve become modern-day Marthas, as, busy, distracted, and empty, instead of like her sister Mary, calm, focused, and fulfilled. How do we, like Mary, create “pauses” in our days and weeks to hear what the Savior has to say to us? How do we make time for the things that ultimately matter? How can we become more spiritually sensitive to the everyday moments of life?

Acclaimed writer Ken Gire unlocks the door to change by introducing us not to a trendy new method, but to a centuries-old tradition-reflective living.

Gire is the author of more than a dozen books, including Intimate Moments with the Savior, Windows of the Soul, and Between Heaven and Earth. He has won two Gold Medallion awards and two CS. Lewis Honor Book awards. He is a full-time writer involved in the ministries of Young Life and Insight for Living.

Key Topics or Truths

Meditative Life
Prayer
Closeness with God
Slowing Down

This Book is Good For...

This book might just be good for everyone who lives in the city, whose kids are doing twelve activities, who have two-income families, whose churches plan too much for them to do, and for anyone who wants to remember the simplicity of Christian life. As well, this book is good for people who got saved as kids and never realized what it was like to just sit with God.

How I Use this Book to make disciples

I use this book to slow people down and think, “Why am I even doing discipleship?” The only great answer of course is to know God better. It is easy to get too busy.

I also use this book heavily for folks who got saved as kids. Here’s why: when you get saved as an adult it is such a contrast to who you were. It is clear — that was then, this is now. It is the most amazing experience and you just want to gobble up everything you can of God. You pray. You worship. However, when you get saved as a kid, no one really expects that focus and few teach it. You just become a cool Christian kid. Few work to build a quiet time discipline, few model it, and few make time for it. And, often, when older folks teach this to teens, it becomes a burden, a have to, instead of a joy. So I use this book to pitch the beauty of just sitting with God.

There are times that disciples push back and say, “It isn’t just about me.” I agree. However, it all started at a cross when it was just about you. Mary got it. Martha missed it. Much of our church life today is Martha.

I divide the book up according to the group’s reading level and then we review it each week.

I love this book because it pushes me to push aside all the busyness of church and spend time with the One who is supposed to be at the center of it all.

Real Life Story

My mother-in-law picked this up for me for Christmas. I only read Christian books and she wasn’t a very devout follower so I just assumed it was another quick gift and plopped in on the shelves. A year or so later, I just picked it up and found it to be a solid read pointing me back toward where I began — just me and God without a bunch of church stuff and Christian people.

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Ken Gire
Book Details
  • Phase: Discipleship 2
  • Book Type: Non Fiction
  • Flair: Relatable or Storytelling
  • Tags: Christian Living, easy read, Prayer
Reading Time
One to Two Weeks
Related Reads

Pairs well with anything — inspiring, easy read. Definitely a match with Sit, Walk, Stand.

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How to Make Disciples

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How to Make Disciples

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SD Coaching Deck Week 3
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WEEK three – CARD ONE

Your focus

This is your first week to hear how their Bible review time went. Results will be varied. Listen well and listen to the Spirit as you guide.

WEEK three – CARD two

Your focus

You are reminding them to prevent "cross talk", to keep prayers focused, and to have disciples look for applicable truths.

WEEK three – CARD three

your focus

You are a cheerleader this week. The method works but it takes time for disciples to get it. Which means leaders need to be patient.

WEEK three – CARD four

your focus

You are preparing them to introduce the Quick Smart Start workbook as extra reading.

WEEK three – CARD five

coach them

ask

How did your group go overall?

Did everyone show up?
Did everyone participate?

How do you feel it went?

Was there much cross-talk?
We you able to keep to keep control and guide individuals?

Encourage them to embrace the fact that SD Groups are different and to be patient as folks get with the plan.

WEEK three – CARD six

coach them

ask

How did the prayer time go? Did you interrupt anyone to get them focused on what you asked them to pray?

Did anyone seem put off by your guidance?
Did they get the idea?

What questions do you have?

Introduce the SNAP Method.

WEEK three – CARD seven

snap prayer time method

The SNAP Method gives disciples a simple way to think about what D-Group prayer time is all about and how to talk to God personally.  As if Jesus walked in the room and said, “What can I do for you?” 

S – SPECIFIC
If they pray, “God help me financially,” you may guide saying, “What exactly do you need? Fifty dollars? Wisdom on budget planning.” Disciples need to learn to ask God for exactly what they need. 

N – NECESSARY
If they pray, “God give me a boat,” it might be interesting to ask, “Hey Bob, do you need a boat?”

A – ANSWERABLE
If Mary prays, “God save my husband,” you probably need to stop and say, “Mary, can God save your husband or does he have to choose God on his own? What can you ask God for that he can do in this situation?”

P – PERSONAL
Guide them to ask for what they need. Not what their aunt or boss needs.

WEEK three – CARD eight

coach them

ask

How did the Bible review go?

  • Did most highlight applicable truths?
  • Was there significant cross-talk?
  • Did you cover all of the reading?
  • What did you do if you didn’t know the answer?

It is safe to assume that most, if not all, groups DID NOT cover all the chapters. This is to be expected. It takes time for the disciples and the leader to get in the groove.

Use the tips on card nine, “Keeping Bible Review on Track,” to help them keep efficient.

Share “When and How to Catch Up” on card ten.

WEEK three – CARD nine

keeping bible review on track

It takes a few weeks to get Bible review efficient. Here are some startup tips.

  1.  Are they reading highlighted verses or just telling you what they highlighted and why? If everyone re-reads the verses out loud, it can double Bible review time.
  2.  Are you asking, “How does that apply?” for every highlight? If they seem to have gotten the truth, just affirm and move on. Listen to the Spirit. If you aren’t sure what to do, move on. Trust God to use His word and His Spirit.
  3. Is some “engineer” or “scholar” highlighting everything in the world? Gently guide them to highlight what the Spirit makes jump off the page instead of what they are searching for. It can take time for folks to adjust from needing to learn everything to just reading and highlighting what jumps off the page.
  4. Are they staying focused on applicable truths? In the first few weeks of Bible review, you will be teaching and re-teaching the highlighting method. Remember, this is a process and takes time to get going. Stay positive.
  5.  Challenge your group saying, “Let’s see if we can beat our chapter review record from last week.”

WEEK three – CARD ten

when and how to catch up

If you get behind in Bible review and have to leave some chapters undone, here are a few ideas and tips to decide if and how you should catch up.

Always Finish the Current Week First
It can feel hopeless never moving forward. So if you left a few chapters undone last week, ignore them until you finish this week. If you don’t finish this week, don’t even mention last week.

Always Cast Hope
We want to finish review so everyone gets everything they can get. But remember that the truths they highlighted (and everything else they read) is in them. God can and will use it to transform them. If you can’t finish, be positive. Maybe say, “I know we are still getting this down (or we had a tough week), don’t worry about it. When we get time, we will get back to those chapters. We will get this down.”

Use the Quick Fire Method
When you are doing pretty well getting each week done, chop ten minutes out of extra-Biblical review and say, “We missed X chapters last week. Let’s see how many highlights we can flush in the next ten minutes. Ready? Go!”

WEEK two – CARD eleven

coach them

talk

This week you will be handing out the first extra-Biblical reading, Quick Smart Start.

Quick Smart Start is a sixteen week workbook answering the top sixteen questions that disciples have asked during Discipleship One.

Share the “how to use” the workbook instructions found on card twelve.

WEEK two – CARD twelve

Using quick, smart start

share

Quick, Smart Start is the introduction of reading beyond the Bible. The workbook is highly praised and wildly successful at helping jumpstart value for the disciples. Here is how the SD Team uses it.

  1. Each week the disciples work through the next of the sixteen lessons.
  2. Each lesson has sections numbered one to six or seven. Disciples should complete one section a day. This helps build a good discipline but, more importantly, avoids the loss of learning when disciples pack too much in too quickly.
  3. Each week, you review what they read working through the answers to the questions, section by section. Make sure to lean in on the summary questions at the end of each lesson.

WEEK two – CARD thirteen

coach

ask

How else can I help?

Listen well.

WEEK two – CARD ONE

Your focus

This is your first week to ask them how their d-group went. This is your first opportunity to rejoice with them while giving hints and pushes.

WEEK two – CARD two

Your focus

You are preparing them for their first week of covering Bible reading using the highlight method.

WEEK two – CARD three

your focus

You are preparing them to implement the "no cross talk" method.

WEEK two – CARD four

your focus

You are reminding them how to positively encourage disciples to find what is there and focus on applicable truths.

WEEK two – CARD five

coach them

ask

How did your first group go?

Were they excited?
Did they talk?
Was anyone a challenge?
Did they get the plan?


How did you feel?
Were you able to answer their questions?

WEEK two – CARD six

coach them

ask

Were you able to keep control, to be the leader, of your group?

Did anyone repetively interrupt?
Was anyone super silent?
Did anyone try to co-lead?

What questions do you have?

Did you use the Six Hats illustration yet?

WEEK two – CARD seven

six hats detail

Six Thinking Hats is a great book by DeBono on leading groups. Read Six Thinking Hats and how I use it in my first or second meeting before you coach this week. Lead and encourage d-group leaders to share the handout and a brief summary ending with the blue hat. Here are some tips. 

  1. Remind how critical it is that they are in control of the meeting and keeping all discussion one-on-one.
  2. Share the Six Thinking Hats infographic.
  3. Give them a 30,000 foot picture of the hats.
  4. Remind them that they have to keep possession of the blue hat.
  5. Walk through a few examples of how to light-heartedly grab the hat back.
  6. Remind them that this method of one-on-one and leader control is new to most disciples.
  7. Listen to their questions.

WEEK two – CARD eight

coach them

ask

Are you ready to cover their highlights?

  • Who goes first?
  • What do you ask?
  • When do you ask?

Remind them that creating thought vacuums for the Holy Spirit to speak is the goal. Remind them to only speak if they must.

Share the Power of a Question.

  • What do you do if you don’t know an answer?
  • When do you say, “Next highlight?”
  • Do you cover your highlights?

WEEK two – CARD nine

coach them

ask

Are you guys good on the "no cross talk method?

  • Why is no cross-talk important?
  • How do you gently guide this new practice?
  • How do you explain the goal?

Remind them that everyone is in individual discipleship even in a group.

Remind them that their job is protect individual discipleship by not letting anyone interrupt anyone’s moment with the Holy Spirit.

WEEK two – CARD ten

coach them

talk

In the first six weeks, one of your most important tasks is keeping them focused what the Bible actually says and on things that apply.

WEEK two – CARD eleven

highlight focus detail

share

Year one is all about getting truth in them and helping them see the why. It is exegetical learning focused on what the Bible actually says. And it is focused on cool truths and things that apply – not on shekels. Here are some tips. 

  1. Guide them away from “I think this means” and “To me this means.” Affirmingly say, “Cool. But can I ask, what does it actually say?”
  2. Guide them to use “I” language and away from “God is saying to us…” Many disciples will have to break the habit of teaching the room or trying to draw others into their conviction.
  3. Ask how does that apply when there is an application they may not see. This is the hint method. Go easy. When they see it, just move on.
  4. When it just an “aha”, obvious truth, or something they get, just move on saying, “Cool. Next highlight.”

WEEK two – CARD twelve

second meeting agenda

Remind

The second meeting has a unique agenda because leaders need to explain how the meeting works to include Six Hats and no cross-talk.

PRAYER
5 minutes total
“What one thing do you need?”

SIX HATS – CROSS TALK
20-30 minutes

BIBLE REVIEW
55minutes

WEEK two – CARD thirteen

coach

ask

How else can I help?

Listen well.